Lonely Hearts
by silsecri
Summary: Alec and Max write letters to each other while Alec is away finding himself. Please read AN inside.


Title: **Lonely Hearts **

Author: Lyra

Fandom: Dark Angel

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: M/A

Type: Standalone (2nd in a trilogy I probably won't be finishing. But it can be read alone.)

Summary: Alec and Max write each other letters while Alec is away finding himself.

IMPORTANT A/N: Okay, a really long time ago I started writing a story about Max and Alec having it out in a fight. But turns out I can't write a fight to save my soul. That made it kinda difficult to finish the story. I asked around for a collaborator, Niz said she'd do it but she got really busy with her life and the project kind of died.

In the meantime, I had the whole story except the fight done: beginning, dialogue for the fight, ending... And the sequel popped in my head. And I wrote it. And then the third part, which would be a longer piece dealing with the aftermath of Freak Nation. Nothing epic, mind you, just a little story on what could happen. I started that too, it has the first two or three scenes written.

The first part of the trilogy was never finished, so I've had the whole thing sitting in my computer for years. I didn't want to post the second part without the first, and I didn't finish writing the third... It all sucks a lot.

But I was cleaning out my WIP folder and saw this, re-read it and thought 'hey, this can work on its own'. And I guess, it's better than nothing. So, if you want to read it, here it is.

ALSO! The story was written in two different colors, one for Max's letters and a different one for Alec's. Unfortunately the site doesn't allow me to do that so be sure to check the location where the letter was written, Max's are always from Seattle, Alec's are from all over.

**Lonely Hearts**

By Lyra

November, 2021, Seattle.

I miss you.

xxx

January, 2022, Seattle.

I'm sorry. I promised myself I wouldn't do this. I was sure I could give you the time you asked for and let you find your path on your own, without me pulling you back with every step.

I can't.

I know it hasn't been long enough. I take forever thinking and analysing even the smallest thing. But you've always been faster than me. With everything.

So I was hoping.

I miss you.

xxx

February, 2022, Seattle.

It's been a hard week. All around me happy couples found their way to each other. I hadn't been such a bitch to everyone since you left. I've been so snappy that more than one looked for you in the room...

I guess that should convince me that you're better off now.

I miss you.

xxx

March, 2022, New York City

I'm not ready to go back.

I miss you.

xxx

March, 2022, Seattle.

Hey,

I thought maybe you'd like to know what's going on around here. Not much has changed. Actually, if you don't count the odd Manticore project rearing its head to stir things up a little nothing ever changes around here.

Well, I almost got fired when you left. Normal just knew it had to be my fault and kicked me out. If it hadn't be for OC and Sketchy standing up for me... you almost did what all my bitchiness, lack of respect and bad work attitude hadn't managed to do in years. You should be proud.

Sketchy found himself a girl. They've been together three months now, and I think if he doesn't screw up in a really huge way he might have found the one for him. You would like her. Her name is Sophie and she's a sweet girl. Sketchy is totally a goner. He'd do anything for her. But they're good together.

He's lucky.

Take care.

xxx

April, 2022, Indianapolis

The past six months I've been trying so hard to move on with my life that I've been blocking everything related to Seattle from my mind.

Until now.

Now I've come to terms with what happened and I'm putting my life back together. I don't want the few good things from my past to be missing in that life, like my friends.

I met a guy here who reminds me of Sketch. He's a really nice guy that has never been very lucky. But he keeps trying, and hoping next time will be better. He met this girl last night and the moment he saw her he told me "Alec, that's the one." He went up to her and introduced himself. He never came back to our table. I observed them for a while. They might have just found in each other what everyone wants: someone to share yourself with.

I know Sketchy can make it. Keep an eye on him for me, ok?

Are you waiting for me?

xxx

May, 2022, Seattle.

OC just moved out of the apartment. Who would have thought she'd be up to the commitment moving in with someone implies. I always thought she would never settle, you know? She was almost as bad as you. Had a new honey almost every night. But I guess you only have to find the right person.

So now I'm all alone in my apartment. No one to talk to, no one to laugh with, no one to fight with.

No one to distract me from the thought that I want you here to talk, laugh and fight with.

I'm happy for OC.

Will it be my turn someday?

I guess I'll keep waiting.

xxx

May, 2022, Denver.

How's Joshua doing?

Am I horrible for wishing that he's missing me?

I miss the big guy. He always knew me better than I did. I could always count on him to know what was wrong.

He knew I needed this long before I did. He told me so when I went to say goodbye. When I asked him why he hadn't told me he said he didn't want me gone, that he'd been selfish.

I'm the selfish one now. I don't want him to forget about me.

Has he?

Have you?

xxx

June, 2022, Seattle.

Joshua misses you like crazy.

He's been painting portraits of you all this time. It's not all he paints, don't go freaking out on me now. But he likes to include you in everything he does. He's moved on from colour stains fighting each other to actual people and places. But the feeling in his paintings is still the same. And he likes to paint you. I like it too.

When I go there I can feel you around me. The intense look on your eyes, your rare smile. He captured your soul. And he doesn't mind sharing you with me.

When you left I was so scared he'd hate me that I couldn't make myself face him. It took me almost three weeks to gather enough courage. OC had to swear to me that Joshua didn't hate me, that he'd been worried about me.

He only said "Everything will be okay, Little Fella. Alec will come back."

Will you?

xxx

July, 2022, Salt Lake City.

I hit a rough spot last week. You know me. I wasn't paying attention and I found myself between a rock and a hard place. And in the middle of it I found myself thinking 'Come on, Max, what's taking so long?'

Huh.

I'm fine though. An old friend was passing by and helped me out. The moment he said he came from Seattle all I could think of was 'had he met you?' I guess it's written all over my face or something 'cos Biggs burst out laughing and said a hot chick back in Seattle had told him I was gone for a while.

I guess that was you.

For a while?

xxx

July, 2022, Seattle.

I met Biggs. He came looking for you. I wasn't sure I could trust him at first, but after spending five minutes with him I could see how alike you both are. If he hadn't had a name already I might have had to call him Alec2.

And he seemed to know a lot about you. I could see he cared about you a lot. I know you're not into the sibling thing, but I got the feeling you were more brothers than fellow soldiers. Maybe just really good friends.

I told him you were gone for a while. I did. I need to think it'll only be for a while.

Hasn't it been a long while yet?

xxx

September, 2022, Portland.

I've been thinking about TC.

You know that's not a solution.

The closer I get the surer I am.

We need to leave. We need to find a safe place to gather. We need to regroup. Strength in numbers.

I know you've taken charge of TC and you feel like it's a safe haven for transgenics and transhumans because humans can't get in there. But I also know that you know it won't last.

If I found somewhere safer, would you come?

xxx

September, 2022, Seattle.

How many times have you told me we should leave? How many times I've told you to shut up and go? I'm sorry.

You were right. An X6 was killed yesterday. It's not safe anymore.

It's never been safe.

I need you here.

We need to go.

_Max folded the letter and put it in the envelope. Bringing it to her mouth, she licked the edge of the flap and closed it. Writing the one word address on it, she put in the drawer of her TC office's desk, with the rest of them, and left the building._

xxx

September, 2022, Seattle.

Here I am. At the gates of TC. About to step back in my old life. But it's not gonna be the same. I've had more than a year to get ready for this moment. Ready to get back to you. Have you healed your wounds, Max? Can we come together at last?

I can feel you inside of TC. I'd never been so aware of you before. You fill my mind, my senses, my everything. Now I realise the place I found for us is not going to be home. Now that I can breathe you, even from outside TC, I know that no matter where we are, you're home.

_Alec held the paper by the corner and let the flames devour the letter just like every other he'd written. Had they gotten to her somehow? _

_When there was nothing left of it Alec raised his head and looked at the tallest building in TC. He could see a lonely figure sitting at the top. The silhouette invisible to the human eye but clear as day for him._

_He smiled with anticipation and stepped into the heart of their den._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks for reading. I'd love to know what you think about it!


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